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08 November 2009 @ 10:41 am
Guns are Fun  
Title: Guns are Fun
Author: crystalkei
Rating: G
Beta-ished by giantlovetingle , she took time out of her busy schedule to give me a fast read through. If you see any mistakes, let me know.
Disclaimer: I don't own the 'verse. It's been a long time since I even played in it, but here ya go. :) I got prompt #10 Fire for the Fall Challenge. Hope it's not too late.

How was protein mash healthy? It didn’t taste healthy. Tasted like dirt, mixed with grass and rocks. River knew in her genius brain that it had all the necessary nutrition for a person, but that didn’t make it taste better. She sat staring at her spoon, tilting her head from side to side and then turning the spoon so the slop slipped into the bowl below.

“Need you to weapon up, Albatross,” Mal pulled her from her inspection of breakfast. “Three man job today.”

“Three person job,” River corrected. “But, I don’t want a weapon.”

“I’d much prefer if you took to wearin’ one while we’re out,” Mal said. “I know you can kill people with your brain an’ all, but I like guns, so, take one.”

“Got one here for ya,” Jayne walked in and placed a holster with a gun snuggly placed in it beside her bowl. “Figured Brooke here was appropriate.” Jayne chuckled at his joke but River just shook her head.

“I don’t want to carry a gun, sir,” she reiterated. Jayne looked hurt.

“Well, got some knives you might like,” Jayne suggested, hopefully. River looked past him at Mal.

“Captain, staying on the ship would be my first choice, but since I must go, I don’t want to carry a weapon,” River glared at him.

“Hey! I didn’t medically bench Zoë, ain’t my fault I need you on this job,” his anger lingered just under his cool face.

“Got a grenade or two you might like,” Jayne tried again, but it went unnoticed. His shoulders slumped. “Mal, she don’t really need one, girl could kill ya with her little pinky faster than you could shoot. Let her be.”

“Fine,” Mal ground out. “But you get yourself all dead, I ain’t gonna care.”

After Mal stormed out of the room, Jayne turned to River.

“Why don’t you want to carry a piece?” he asked, concerned. River stood and headed for the door. Jayne called after her “I fire guns for fun. Hell, guns ain’t nothin’ but fun!”

River stopped, he seemed genuine and he was offering his precious guns for her. That counted for something. Sighing, she turned back to a curious Jayne.

“Don’t want to be the weapon,” River explained. “Holding a weapon makes it easier to be the weapon. Didn’t choose to be her, but I am her, the weapon, the ‘killer woman.’ When Zoë is well again, I won’t go out anymore.”

Jayne thought a moment on what she said. Scratching at his whiskers, he began, “ain’t gonna let nothin’ happen to ya. I got your back.”

“I can protect myself,” she told him, but she knew that brushing off his statement did not lessen the sentiment. Jayne offered her more of himself than he knew in that promise.

“Ain’t sayin’ ya can’t, you missed my meaning,” Jayne replied calmly. “See, I got your safe-word all memorized, you don’t want to be a weapon, well, I’ll stop you ‘fore you hurt anyone who don’t deserve the hurt.”

River gave him a small smile. “Did you learn it to protect me or you?”

“Both,” Jayne smirked. “I’ma carry an extra girl in case you need one, or you just want to fire one…for the fun of it.”
matchlightfirematchlightfire on November 8th, 2009 02:02 am (UTC)
LOVE this. :)
RJ: jayne and verarjsteamboat76 on November 8th, 2009 02:48 am (UTC)
very nice. =)
SunshineAlisunshineali on November 8th, 2009 03:30 am (UTC)
cute. :)
night_lotusnight_lotus on November 8th, 2009 04:08 am (UTC)
I enjoyed this very much!
Bellabellissimo on November 8th, 2009 08:57 am (UTC)
Great work :)
baschedbasched on November 8th, 2009 10:44 am (UTC)

Very sweet, especially from coming from Jayne! I liked it very much!

And your icon rocks! Cake or death! Eddie Izzard rocks! Did you make that yourself?
lunaspec_gimmylunaspec_gimmy on November 8th, 2009 04:34 pm (UTC)
That is so Jayne! Loved it.
The Secret Diaries of Marta Harimarta_hari on November 8th, 2009 05:48 pm (UTC)
This was amazing! Very Poignant.
Pia: rayne-releaseidyllictorture on November 9th, 2009 05:52 am (UTC)
Very sweet work. :D This is one of those slice of life fics that I love. :D
DorothyL: Beliefrevdorothyl on December 6th, 2009 01:04 am (UTC)
Now THAT'S a wonderful definition of "I got your back," and so very appropriate for River and Jayne.
Neisystheneis on August 6th, 2010 01:55 pm (UTC)
I love it!